I've spent the last 3 months waiting for trains. Every weekend or so, I'd wait for the train that brought Charlotte back from DC for the weekend, then, when she had to go, We'd get to the train station ten minutes early, and almost every weekend, the train was an hour late. One day, I turned to her and said "I should write a book about all the things I do when I'm waiting for my life to happen". She laughed.
Of course, it goes back further than that. At least as far as the day I met Charlotte just two years ago. the Spring semester of 2013, as I recall. I'd asked her, a stranger, for romantic advice, but something about the advice she gave me sorta... struck me weird. It was like she was telling me how to woo herself. Curiousity got the best of me, and some months later, I asked what she thought of me. She admitted to our mutual attraction. I spent most of my summer talking to her, thinking that any day, we'd get together, we were just waiting... but Charlotte wasn't ready for a boyfriend. I ended up dating other women for a while, but I found I was sabotaging myself at every turn, first by being flighty, then, after a particularly terrible relationship (that I won't specify), by drinking enough alcohol to make myself fat and unappealing.
There was this girl I'd met online, named Skyler. She was 17, and she was in love with me. She told me all the time that she wanted to move out here and get married to me. She wasn't particularly smart, so my feelings for her were purely physical, an ironic condition in a long distance situation, but it was enough that, even when she was distant, which was always, her appearance of attraction to me kept me docile about my life. I'd just keep waiting for opportunities, and never do anything for myself, then, Saturday night, I'd watch an entire season of Family Guy for the hundredth time, and drink Vodka mixed with grape soda.
I came back to school from the summer of 2014, and things didn't exactly go my way. I had been waiting for something to happen in my life, and what happened was two terrible days in a row. Monday morning I got on Facebook to discover that Skyler had found a boyfriend where she lives. Suddenly the reality of how miserable and alone I was choosing to be struck me. Was it depression? Not really. I honestly think that the terrible relationship I'd had the previous winter, full of lies and coercion, had just turned me off from the whole prospect of trying. I wasn't depressed, I was just happy for the wrong reasons. Jeanna told me it would all get better, and I looked her in the eyes and said "No. It won't. Sometimes life just sucks and there's no hope of things getting better." I hadn't made eye contact with anyone in months, and the moment felt incredibly heavy. But I had become complacent. The next day was a Tuesday, and that was the day that my ex-girlfriend's boyfriend threatened me in a parking lot, and it was the day that Charlotte heard that story and called to check up on me.
The next time I saw Charlotte, she indicated to me that she was ready to start dating, but that she didn't know who liked her or who was gay or any number of things she needed to know to get a boyfriend. Did I make a move? No. Not in person anyway. I texted her a few hours later to let her know I still was interested. We talked in person the next day, and things looked promising.
Thursday evening, I was driving home from Martinsburg blasting "Friday I'm In Love" by The Cure. By my estimation, we'd get together on Friday. It was a hopeful and ultimately foolish estimate, but it turned out to be right. To this day I'm unsure if the fact that I told her I loved that song factored in, but I never bothered to ask. It took us over a week together to finally kiss, but I waited. Surprisingly, after that, waiting went out the window, and about a week later, we admitted we were in love.
The next thing I had to wait for was to get into Graduate School, but I didn't have to wait long, getting into WVU just 3 days after my last letter of recommendation was received. I'd waited since July of 2013 to make my screenplay, Four Inches, into a movie, and Capstone provided me the moment I needed. So now, I'm waiting for my life's next chapter, as a graduate student with a girlfriend worthy of having a future with, and I am incredibly happy that my life has been worth the wait.
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